The Process of Grief

Today I received a heart wrenching letter from a lady thanking me for the “happy” “uplifting” funeral service for her late husband.

She had taken the time and trouble to write to me but the thing that I found most moving was the description of the pain she had been through in the weeks following her husband’s death. On top of dealing with the grief she had difficult practical matters to deal with.

It is clear that we all go through a process of grief. We feel anger, pain, hurt, guilt. We go through all the range of emotions we could possibly feel. We cope in different ways. This lady had taken the ashes of her husband for a walk in an old pram around the town and down to the river and finally sat in the park overlooking the Spring flowers he always loved to see each year. She has also taken comfort from the wonderful garden he created – a mural he painted on the shed, hanging baskets and little statutes of animals in the flower beds. This is her special place to go and cry and remember him. We all need a special place to go when we want to focus on our loved ones; a place of peace to think and maybe talk aloud to them.

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